Military retirement bonus

The American Navy found they  had too many officers and decided
to offer an early retirement bonus.  They promised any officer who
volunteered for retirement a bonus of  $1,000 for every inch measured
in a straight line between any two  points in his body. The officer got
to choose what those two points  would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be  measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was  measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.  

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked  to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.  He walked
out with $96,000.

The third one was a  non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,
when asked where  he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of
my willy to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he
might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the  previous
two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go
along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and  instructed the Chief to "drop 'em", which
he did. The medical  officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the
Chief's willy and  began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly
exclaimed, "Where  are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied, "Vietnam."