Monday, December 1, 2008

Kids Are Quick

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America 
MARIA:       Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered   America ?

CLASS:        Maria.

TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.
__________ ________________________________

TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLEN:      K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLEN:   !    Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD:    Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:       Me!


TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE:          I is..
TEACHER:   No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE:         All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.   

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's
  cherry tree, but also admitted it.   Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS:        Because George still had the axe in his hand.   

TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:      No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.  

TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.   Did you copy his?

CLYDE :       No, sir.  It's the same dog.

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:       A teacher.

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