Texas Justice

A woman was called in front of a Texas grand jury for manslaughter after she shot a mugger 6 times in the back as he was running away with her purse. 

He grabbed the purse and ran, she had her hand on the gun in it, and was left with the revolver in her hand. 

When asked by the grand jury why she shot the man 6 times in the back as he was running away, she replied under oath: 

"Because when I pulled the trigger the 7th time it only went click" 

Acquitted all charges.

Hunter shoots wife

Whilst cleaning his rifle a hunter accidentally shoots his wife. 

In his moment of horror and distress he immediately dials 111.

Hunter: 

''It's my wife! 

I've accidentally shot her. 

I've killed her! 

It's horrible. 

Help me. 

What should I do?''

Operator: 

''Please calm down Sir.

I have dealt with many such accidents. 

This situation may not be as serious as it first appears.

Can you first make sure she is actually dead!''

*click* *BANG*

Hunter: 

''Okay, done that. What next?''

They Walk Among Us!

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How about these . . . .

They Walk Among Us & Many Work Retail

 I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her & told her that she had made a mistake in MY favour.  She became indignant & informed me she was Educated & knew what she was doing, & returned the money again. I gave her the Money back...same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

 I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl & she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free"
 She handed me my free Lattes & I walked out the door.

 While looking at a house, my brother asked the real Estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
 When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, & has for sometime, she shook her head & said, "Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff."

 I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

 My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

 My friends & I were on a beer run & noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% & gave us a 20% discount.

 I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office & told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled & told me not to worry because she was a trained professional & I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"


 While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man Ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone & the cook asked Him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."